There’s no doubt that the subject of a prenup can be difficult for a couple, often deeply in love and hoping for a bright future until death do them part. So what’s the best way todo it? If you’re worried about protecting family wealth or resources that you’ve worked extremely hard to build up before the marriage, it’s essential that you talk to your partner early about what your expectations are in that regard.

Prenups are deeply unromantic as they involve looking into a version of the future that is unhappy but it’s usually much better to establish that you and your partner are on the same page about what should happen if the marriage breaks down at an early stage rather than kicking it into the long grass until the worst happens.

Nowadays it’s common for couples to go to counselling even when their relationship is not in jeopardy. It’s generally accepted that working together in this way can bring many benefits. So why not schedule a session before you get married to talk about money, what it means to you and your expectations of how you and your partner will live going forward?

This might be a good opportunity also to talk about an agreement. The pitch could be that you want to ensure there are no issues that arise during the marriage about money and that you’re on the same page about it. Buying yourself certainty later in your relationship can only be a good thing.

There are also some specific circumstances where a prenup might be appropriate. If you’ve been married before and been burned in a relationship then a new partner may well be understanding about your caution in protecting that wealth.

If your family come from money and you’re expecting a sizable inheritance, sometimes it’s easier to broach the subject where there’s likely to be significant level of inherited wealth as the instigation of the idea can be attributed to a third party –perhaps a family member or (less politically) family advisers.

If you have a business it might be possible to say that it is something which you and your business partner have discussed which is an increasingly common practice amongst founders.

If marriage guidance counselling isn’t possible there’s the option of going to mediation to talk about a prenup. Often family mediators are very well equipped to lead a discussion in general terms about what might work and what won’t.

Even after you’ve got married it’s not too late. You can consider a ‘midnup’ or ‘postnup’ which would make specified provision for what happens if your marriage was to come to an end. Again, if there’s a schism or rupture in the relationship caused by for example an affair or some other betrayal, an emotional reset can be accompanied in parallel by a financial one which a marital agreement would underpin.

The recent case of PN v SA provides some helpful guidance about how a difficult negotiation, with heightened emotions on either side can tip into pressure which has a bearing on the weight to be attached to the agreement. So tread lightly or risk an executed agreement being a pyrrhic victory!

Bear in mind that under the suggested requirements, you’ll need to be able to sign the agreement a month before any wedding so it’s usually a good idea to start the discussions at least 6 months beforehand.

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If you require any advice on prenuptial agreements, please contact the team at Burgess Mee on mail@burgessmee.com.

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